Drops of grace

Psalm 23 

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Even though, I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for You are with me, your rod and staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

 

       These verses have given much peace and hope. I love verse two - He restores my soul, by giving us rest and quietness. The last few weeks - I have had the opportunity to study and write a nursing exam. I had some time off from work, and although, it involved much planned time of reviews and study times, I was also able to spend time with family and friends, and most importantly time with God. Walking through a trail nearby my house each day during that time, reminded me of God's beautiful creation, and His Sovereignty in all things. Nearing the exam, God graciously gave me His peace that was beyond my own understanding. 

      The exam that I had for many hours and days studied for went by quickly. To which point, I wondered if it actually was reflective of all that I had spent in studying for it. The verses above were my prayers the morning of my exam. And though, I had felt no anxiety before the exam, coming out after I had completed the exam, I felt a wave of feelings of disappointment and frustration as I found the exam to be challenging and difficult. On my way home, I decided to drive to a close by park. It was a beautiful day, and as it was a still early in the morning, the park was quiet, and peaceful. I walked by the rocks and water and sat by the tree. Just looking out at the wonderful park and spending time in prayer, I had felt again God’s comfort and reasurrance in my life and in particular of the exam. Psalm 23:2 came into my mind again “He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my mind”. It made me smile and rejoice inside as He brought me back to Him.

   Not thinking a whole lot after the exam, other than remembering to be grateful for being able to write the exam in the first place and having done my best, I left it all in His hands. Over the last few days, I think I came to the reality and possibility of re-needing to write the exam over again (which was actually okay with me). I never put away my study stuff fully and in some way expected to study more. But two days ago, I found online the results of my exam. Taken by surprise, I saw that I had passed the exam! I think I was in shock for 2-3 mins. I soon realized that only by HIS grace and mercy did I pass the exam. I knew on my own strength, I would have failed the exam. It was one of the worst exams I have ever written. Now even looking back, it feels surreal that I passed, but I know that in whatever result whether pass or fail, He would have been with me guiding me. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake. I am just incredibly grateful to Him. Who am I worth of such grace and mercy? I can only give thanks to Him. You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows. 

  So what now? Just like how at the beginning of all this studying I gave this exam to Him, I also commit the results of it to Him – following where He wants me to go. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.